Friday, December 06, 2019

The Lighter Side of Weight Loss: Chapter Twenty-five

The Lighter Side of Weight Loss
By Sandra Warholic Seeley

Chapter Twenty-five                                                   

I think next year WW should have a float in Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade. All WW members would live in a crate in New Jersey until the big day. We would then have to audition for the part of WW Float cast member.

To get the part, we would have had to do the usual WW requirements while living in our crate like, tracking, tallying points and trimming our portions. Otherwise known as the Triple T strategy.

The second part of our audition would require the willingness to be filled with nitrous oxide (laughing gas) which is actually denser than air. We don’t want to float away with all the helium filled balloons surrounding us. Instead of singing for the crowd in front of Macy’s, we would all be laughing uncontrollably to let the world know how happy WW members are. It would be a cacophony of laughter. (I just like to say cacophony!)

I once experienced laughing gas first hand at a tooth extraction session. (Think fear of the sadistic dentist in the movie “Marathon Man.”) I drove myself home, laughing out loud the whole way. Going to the oral surgeon is so much fun!

And finally, our audition judges would measure our wind speed (excuses for not losing weight) with the dreaded anemometer! I will leave it to your imagination (mine is vivid) to figure out how this works.

I actually got to ride on the Green Giant Float in the parade this year. That’s me in the picture waving to the crowd. I was selected for this honorary position due to the number of vegetables, especially green ones, consumed by me this year. At the bottom of the picture, but out of sight, is my handler, a food police officer, one of New York’s finest. He kept me following the letter of WW law to reach my half-way to goal milestone.

I wish you luck on your audition next year. I plan on being 100% at goal (minus a few pounds more as a safety flotation device). Send me your ideas for the theme of our WW Float 2020. See you in New York next year and in Connect next week.

Until then, be aware of your TTT and be happier.

Sandra Warholic Seeley - All my life, and half of someone else's, I have lived in a humorous place called Earth. My muse is a tiny menehune from the island of Oahu in Hawaii where I lived for a year. Ernest Hemingway once sat under the exact same coconut tree where I did most of my writing. I'm also a sensitive to criticism Virgo who loves to get paid for writing and speaking funny stuff. Even though my mind is filled with volcanic ash residue and I'm still finding sand in my shorts, I will continue to write until my muse retires or I run out of pretty blue drinks, whichever comes first. Don't be bashful, email the author.

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