Tuesday, March 27, 2007

Strangest, But Almost True!

I recently found out I'm not allergic to toxic chemicals. This means I can now drink pesticides without breaking out in a rash.

Comment overheard while shopping near the bathing suit department: "Boas are the perfect accessory to wear when swimming!"

My favorite radio station often has a contest where the 7th caller wins a great prize. I was the 8th caller and received 4 tickets to the Home & Garden Show at the Pittsburgh Convention Center. I also received 4 hard hats!

After many years of searching, I finally found the perfect green jersey to wear to work on St. Patrick's Day this year. Too bad the 17th was on a Saturday!

If you set your clock for 3AM, you will not wake up at 3PM.

Dealing with a sinus infection is not very humorous. Actually, it's very confusing. If my antibiotic causes diarrhea, and my codeine laced "happy" syrup causes constipation, will I be regular? Is it ok to take Immodium? Why do the nurses laugh at me when I ask these questions? It's probably just because I'm such a funny, but sick, humor columnist.

Please email your Get Wells/Condolences to this author, negotiator, crusader, and Royal Highness.

1 comment:

  1. Ah. I was hoping you'd tackle that oldest of mysteries in the Kanela househould. How can it be called "cranberry sauce" if you can slice it? Doesn't suce connotate liquid? How does one slice a liquid?

    But, alas, no such puzzle solution here.

    Perhaps in "Strangester and Even MORE Truerer!"


Print Friendly Version of this pagePrint Get a PDF version of this webpagePDF