Wednesday, March 21, 2007

Stranger, But Almost True!

"Here's The Thing Two!"

I'm often called a Drama Queen by my favorite son of the East, my favorite son of the West (sometimes they're both a wee bit "Wicked"), and my favorite daughter who is often in a different time zone from East and West! What they fail to realize is that I'm telling the truth - almost. So I'll wear my crown proudly and be the ruler of all that I see. (Happy Birthday Dr. Seuss).

The Pittsburgh Penguins were threatening to leave Pittsburgh. I often do the same thing. Where is Governor Rendell when I need him? Where is Mayor Luke Skywalker? When I vote in the primaries, I always tell them I'm not on the dark side of the Force Party. They think I'm a cute, funny Jedi Warrior Woman. Let's meet at the bargaining table and negotiate my revenue from tickets, parking, concessions, and slots. I can be in Philadelphia/New Jersey by 4:00 pm with my people. Since I'm right up the street from the soon to be former Mellon Arena site, I've been given pre-approval to use the Weil ALA parking lot for overflow parking, bake sales, and "Take Your Father to Penguin Games" tailgating parties. All proceeds benefit me.

Things always seem to happen in nines to me. See Drama Queen comment above. You already know about my computer from "Strange, But Almost True", however, I left out the prior 6 disasters. My furnace is also breaking. The Heating & Cooling people assured me it's not going to explode, it's just going to die soon. If only I can put up with the loud piercing wail it makes every time it's on, until revenue starts pouring in from my Penguin deal.

Also, our second car died. Well, actually it was killed by a homicidal oil changer. We took it in for a normal oil change and came out with an abnormal frozen engine. Your typical hospital nightmare. This psycho not only sabotaged our car but also the truck before us. Needless to say, he's no longer employed with this company. Be warned though - you may want to check references before your next oil change. I'm not naming the particular business, because the owner has accepted full responsibility. However, their insurance company has a big attitude. If departed car is not given an engine transplant soon, I may have to reveal some details for the good of my public.

Be sure to visit me also at and check out The Writings Between Two Columns and the Future Champions.

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