Friday, February 14, 2020

The Lighter Side of Weight Loss: Chapter Thirty-five


The Lighter Side of Weight Loss
By Sandra Warholic Seeley                                     

Chapter Thirty-five

I, Zeus Seeley, am using Mom’s Chromebook while she is applying ice to her foot and drink. Her vet told her not to mix strong meds and alcohol, which she insists she did not put in the same glass. Good girl! I’m just wondering why Mom thinks everything is funny lately. Personally, I don’t see the humor in foot surgery.

My favorite holiday is today, Valentine’s Day. I get treats every day, but February 14th treats are the best. Just for the record, I adore Easter basket treats and Christmas stocking treats and Pill Pocket treats (what was that bitter tasting crunch inside?) and birthday treats and reward treats and … I think you get the idea that I love treats! All of my WW friends may be wondering how I maintain my goal weight if I am consuming high smart point value goodies. The answer is simple. One, I do not control the cookie jar, and two, I chase my tail during TV commercials. Moderation and activity win the race every time.

Mom’s favorite treat is chocolate covered cherries for several reasons. She told me that one CCC satisfies her sweet tooth for only 3 Smart Points. But more importantly, a box of chocolate covered cherries was responsible for her Mom meeting her Dad. It’s a long family story, but trust me when I tell you that a piece of candy can lead to dating, marriage, babies, and a CCC traditional holiday gift that spans generations. After a lot of research, I discovered that these cherry morsels appeared in many love stories: Sir Lancelot met Guinevere when she actually stole one of his CCC inside the saddlebag on his horse. He then escorted her back to Camelot falling more deeply in love with every passing mile. It’s been reported that as the Titanic was sinking, Jack gave Rose all the remaining CCCherries in his pocket. If only Charlie Brown had realized the power of this candy, he would have bought a box for his friends, resulting in a mailbox full of Valentines for him. Also, he would not have kicked his empty mailbox so hard that he required surgery on his foot!

If Mom were not sleeping right now, she would try to inspire her WW friends with a song from “Camelot.” To paraphrase the lyrics of “What Would the Simple Folk Do?” she would tell you to whistle, sing, dance and laugh your cares away. I would like to add that you should track a treat today and enjoy it.

So Happy Valentine’s Day from Mom and me. To show you how much we love you, I’m going to leave you with this quote from my friend, Winnie the Pooh, “If you live to be a hundred, I want to be a hundred minus one day, so I never have to live without you.”

Mom would say until next week, she is accepting all gifts of chocolate covered cherries, she hopes there is at least one Valentine in your mailbox and she hopes you will be happier every day.

Sandra Warholic Seeley - All my life, and half of someone else's, I have lived in a humorous place called Earth. My muse is a tiny menehune from the island of Oahu in Hawaii where I lived for a year. Ernest Hemingway once sat under the exact same coconut tree where I did most of my writing. I'm also a sensitive to criticism Virgo who loves to get paid for writing and speaking funny stuff. Even though my mind is filled with volcanic ash residue and I'm still finding sand in my shorts, I will continue to write until my muse retires or I run out of pretty blue drinks, whichever comes first. Don't be bashful, email the author.

Friday, February 07, 2020

The Lighter Side of Weight Loss: Chapter Thirty-four

The Lighter Side of Weight Loss                                     
Halfway to Goal
By Sandra Warholic Seeley

Chapter Thirty-four

The best thing about my foot surgery on February 3rd is that I don’t remember anything about my surgery. They (masked people) wheeled me out of my pre-op holding area and I was asleep before I arrived in the operating room theatre (Area 51?). I do remember waking up to a YouTube video (in my mind only) of Hauser (hunky cello player) and senorita (a singer with no need for WW) playing and singing “I Will Always Love You.” Prior to surgery, I asked my husband (Edward the Great) to watch that video with me. I told ETG if he wants me to be in a better mood, just look at me the way Hauser looks at his woman. Here is the link for your viewing pleasure: HAUSER and Señorita - I Will Always Love You


I do remember everything before my surgery, especially asking (begging) my assigned nurse to ask the anesthesiologist not to question my weight in front of ETG if he expected an honest answer. It was clearly written in my chart, no need to broadcast the results! This nurse must have been warned ahead of time to humor the crazy WW lady, since she actually attached a note to my chart, written in red Sharpie, to avoid the weight question. This note worked for Dr. Twilight Zone (he did not ask my weight), but the attached note caught ETG’s attention. I had to snatch the clipboard from Edward’s hands and explain that all information on my chart was classified on a strictly need to know basis.

While in recovery, I asked ETG what my surgeon had to say about the operation. He said he did not get to talk to the doctor because he (Edward Not So Great) was in the snack bar at the time that discussion should have taken place. This is a prime example of when I would want to be eating out of frustration, but I am now practicing mindful eating. Also, there was an IV needle in one arm and a big bandage/boot contraption on one foot that made access to food difficult.

I am now recuperating at home with my faithful companion, Zeus. We both have injured right, rear paws. His injury was caused from a self-inflicted pulled toenail, exposing the nerve. My 1st metatarsophalangeal joint arthrodesis procedure was necessary because of arthritis in my big toe joint. I need to trade Zeus’ cone for my boot, it will make eating more difficult for me and easier for Zeus.

Here’s a little non scale victory footnote (pun intended)! I was sent home with a Junior size walker, because I am so petite. Even though this description of me was referring to my height (5’), my oxycodone filled brain took the comment as a weight related compliment.

Until next week, accept any stray compliments, don’t eat out of frustration (wear a cone if necessary), laugh a little harder and be happier.


Sandra Warholic Seeley - All my life, and half of someone else's, I have lived in a humorous place called Earth. My muse is a tiny menehune from the island of Oahu in Hawaii where I lived for a year. Ernest Hemingway once sat under the exact same coconut tree where I did most of my writing. I'm also a sensitive to criticism Virgo who loves to get paid for writing and speaking funny stuff. Even though my mind is filled with volcanic ash residue and I'm still finding sand in my shorts, I will continue to write until my muse retires or I run out of pretty blue drinks, whichever comes first. Don't be bashful, email the author.

Friday, January 31, 2020

The Lighter Side of Weight Loss: Chapter Thirty-three

The Lighter Side of Weight Loss                                     
By Sandra Warholic Seeley

Chapter Thirty-three

In March of 2019, I hiked (drove) to the top of Gobbler’s Knob in Punxsutawney, Pennsylvania (84 miles northeast of Pittsburgh) to have a heart to heart conversation with our resident groundhog, Phil. This was one month after Phil predicted 6 more weeks of winter, based on observing his own shadow. As you can see, I’m still hiding half of me behind trees, based on the fact that my shadow and I are still only halfway to myWW goal.

I feel like I’m in a “Groundhog Day” movie, repeating the same bad habits over and over again. Either Weather Prophet Phil, who for 132 years has been forced into yearly repetition of weather reporting, has put a curse on me or Phil Collins’ (Bill Murray’s character in the movie) girlfriend cursed me/us also. Either way, there are only two ways to break this cycle. One: close your eyes and spell “Punxsutawney” correctly the first time with no help from Google or Siri. Or two: SPOILER ALERT! DO NOT CONTINUE READING THIS PROFOUND CHAPTER IF YOU WANT TO WATCH “GROUNDHOG DAY” FOR THE FIRST TIME. IT’S FUNNY AND WORTH WATCHING. I repeat ( a la theme of this chapter) or two: an escape from weight related behavioral redundancy is triggered by a character transformation. Phil is finally worthy of his girlfriend’s love (after repeating the same cycle for 33 years and 350 days). Are we finally worthy of self love. Let’s love ourselves enough to vow (officially on February 2, 2020 - Groundhog Day) to stop repeating any self-destructive habits that prevent us from achieving our weight loss goals.

We need to stop overdrawing our smart point bank accounts. This will result in a weight gain penalty. We need to stop making excuses for our own behavior: I’m overeating because I’m angry at …, celebrating …, saddened by …, depressed because of …, you fill in the blanks. I’ve finally come to accept the fact that I am the one responsible for how I react to the above situations. No one is force feeding me junk food or forcing me to overindulge on healthy calories.

During my conversation with Punxsy Phil, he assured me that he did not put any weight related curses on me. He said he has enough trouble dealing with his own problems. He’s terrified of crowds, but still has to make a speech before thousands of people every February. During his off season, he told me he has been studying public speaking. He also has to deal with angry people who do not like his weather report. That’s why he hustles back inside his burrow as fast as rodently possible. And finally, PETA is trying to steal his thunder by replacing him with an animatronic Phil! Come on PETA, no animals were harmed in the making of this weather report. Let Phil continue to be the star of his own show.

Until next week, break your weight loss/weight gain repetitive cycle, be the star of your own show and be happier!


Sandra Warholic Seeley - All my life, and half of someone else's, I have lived in a humorous place called Earth. My muse is a tiny menehune from the island of Oahu in Hawaii where I lived for a year. Ernest Hemingway once sat under the exact same coconut tree where I did most of my writing. I'm also a sensitive to criticism Virgo who loves to get paid for writing and speaking funny stuff. Even though my mind is filled with volcanic ash residue and I'm still finding sand in my shorts, I will continue to write until my muse retires or I run out of pretty blue drinks, whichever comes first. Don't be bashful, email the author.

Saturday, January 25, 2020

The Lighter Side of Weight Loss: Chapter Thirty-two


The Lighter Side of Weight Loss
By Sandra Warholic Seeley                                             

Chapter Thirty-two

A serious conversation with myself:

Me: What is wrong with you?

Who me? Let me count the ways. I’m a bit of a drama queen. I have a tendency to laugh at you. I go to my hairstylist for a trim, but tell her not to cut my hair. How else will my hair get longer, but still look stylish? I can’t say “Worcestershire Sauce.” My To-Do list is overbooked. I’m thinking of “bumping” grocery shopping, laundry and clutter control. I will pay you to do them for me, and give you free lodging for the night. I keep buying bananas just to watch them turn brown, before trashing them. I cry ugly.

Me: What is right with you?

Who me? Let me count the ways. I’m a stubborn Lifetime WW member determined to once more feel that I deserve the SAG award for Lifetime Achievement. After Sunday’s award show, people were left wondering about Brad and Jennifer’s relationship, but were not left wondering about what was visible beneath Jennifer’s sheer ivory satin slip dress. I don’t want people to wonder if I know how visible my excess poundage is. Trust me, both Jennifer and I know the maximum visibility of our dresses. We have trained eyes.

Me: Get back to what is right with you.

OK. Here’s (to quote Oprah) what I know for sure. I am stubborn, and that’s a good thing. My persistence will lead to my weight loss success. I am a walking Thespian symbol. There will always be drama and comedy in my life. I don’t need a bronzed, naked, green patina-ed guy with a cute rear view to validate my success (on second thought, maybe I do). With or without him, I am still a winner. Whenever my Lifetime membership is renewed, I want to hear my coach announce, “The Actor goes to me!” But I will be left wondering why Mr. SAG Actor Statuette has neither clothes nor a mouth. Perhaps that is how he remains at goal.

On a final note, I just want to say during my doctor’s appointment for pre-foot operation EKG and blood work, I was cleared for take-off in T-minus 9 days. He told me he was not in the least bit worried about the success of the operation or my tolerance for pain because I’m so stubborn. He then gave me a high five and a bill.

Until next week, I’m giving you some good advice (bill will follow). Be stubborn and be happier!

Sandra Warholic Seeley - All my life, and half of someone else's, I have lived in a humorous place called Earth. My muse is a tiny menehune from the island of Oahu in Hawaii where I lived for a year. Ernest Hemingway once sat under the exact same coconut tree where I did most of my writing. I'm also a sensitive to criticism Virgo who loves to get paid for writing and speaking funny stuff. Even though my mind is filled with volcanic ash residue and I'm still finding sand in my shorts, I will continue to write until my muse retires or I run out of pretty blue drinks, whichever comes first. Don't be bashful, email the author.

Saturday, January 18, 2020

The Lighter Side of Weight Loss: Chapter Thirty-one


The Lighter Side of Weight Loss
By Sandra Warholic Seeley

Chapter Thirty-one

My Week-At-A-Glance in retrospect could have used more planning skills. Some tasks went well, others not so well. On Monday, Christmas was boxed and stored for another year, with only a random ornament crying for its lost box. There are more lost objects in the Seeley household than the combined totals of American lost and found boxes, British lost property and Canadian lost articles. Not so favorite husband’s cell phone is among the missing. Please place him on your do not call list, he can no longer answer your annoying call. I can often be found searching for lost objects or found searching for food to mask my sorrow over lost objects. With better planning, I can use 28 smart points per week for sustenance during search and rescue operations.

Tuesday was rather uneventful except for the trip to Denny’s Restaurant for a Berry Vanilla One Crepe Breakfast. Denny actually woke me from a sound sleep and ordered me to appear at his house that morning. According to my calculations, Denny cost me 19 of my 16 daily smart points, and I had already consumed some leftover Christmas cookies as I was still lamenting lost objects. With better planning, I can put Denny on mute!

On Wednesday we had to make an expensive trip to Dr. Dermatology Specialists’s office for our Zeus’ canine allergy vaccine. We recently had him tested for allergies (due to excessive scratching of body parts), and found him to be allergic to trees, grass, mold, dust mites and many other allergens, including cats! Hopefully, we will become experts at giving him his injections on a long term basis. Hopefully, he will not try to eat us while we do so. Hopefully, I will not try to eat away my stress. Hopefully, all cats will avoid 119 pounds of German Shepherd sneezing fits. It’s not in their best interests to trigger his allergies. With better planning, I can have healthy treats on hand for Zeus and me.

Thursday is my line dancing class at our local YMCA. This is one event of my week that went very well. One member said to me, “Aren’t you the person who almost quit dancing during our first class? And look at you now!” Yes, look at me now. I am having fun doing an activity that I have always wanted to learn, but was afraid to try. My success is giving me the confidence to never pass up the chance to dance. In fact, I also line dance every Monday night at a local club. I’m making new friends while dancing off the pounds. How’s that for good planning?

Today (Friday), I’m contemplating all the planning that will be necessary for a foot operation scheduled for February 3, 2020. First of all, I have to lose 5 pounds to match the weight (lie) I already told my surgeon. Wearing a cement block on my right foot is not scale friendly. I may have to just dance on my left foot. Is it legal to drive in PA with one’s left foot on the gas pedal? With great planning, I’m anticipating a huge weight loss at my first post-op weigh in.

Until next week, plan for your own success and be happier.

Sandra Warholic Seeley - All my life, and half of someone else's, I have lived in a humorous place called Earth. My muse is a tiny menehune from the island of Oahu in Hawaii where I lived for a year. Ernest Hemingway once sat under the exact same coconut tree where I did most of my writing. I'm also a sensitive to criticism Virgo who loves to get paid for writing and speaking funny stuff. Even though my mind is filled with volcanic ash residue and I'm still finding sand in my shorts, I will continue to write until my muse retires or I run out of pretty blue drinks, whichever comes first. Don't be bashful, email the author.

Thursday, January 09, 2020

The Lighter Side of Weight Loss: Chapter Thirty


The Lighter Side of Weight Loss
By Sandra Warholic Seeley
                                                                                         
Chapter Thirty

If it’s true that my Smart TV is spying on me, two things need to happen. First of all, if I’m having a bad hair day, I need to play Hide and Seek with Mr. Flat Screen. Second in importance is learning how to develop a working relationship with Mr. FS (Flat Screen) during shared screen time.

If I’m being watched by not only my television, but also by the 7.8 billion people populating our planet (all hiding inside my flat screen), I need to modify my eating habits, stat! I need to consider which continents have the most people viewing me in order to make myself look good in their eyes. For example, Asia, Africa and Europe take the top three spots. They’re actually getting paid by Nielson to watch me. So on Asia night, I might not want to be snacking on a half gallon of mint chocolate chip ice cream straight from the carton. First of all, ice cream is difficult to eat with chopsticks and there has never been an Asian glutton (except for maybe that one immigrant). So I would not want to shock any Asian sensibilities.

North America and South America come in 4th and 5th place in population statistics using me for their viewing pleasure. North Americans are used to seeing one of their own eating without restraint, but the other day, all 422 million South Americans were yelling “Basta!” at me. No translation was needed, but my tiny, invisible Spanish friends broke the sound barrier with their unified voices. I’ve actually had “Enough!” backtalk from my TV. Tough love ( in decibel levels) is forcing me to rethink my eating habits.

That leaves the people on the continents of Oceania and Antarctica who will be watching me through Mr. FS’s giant eyeball. Since no one knows anything about Oceania, I’m not going to worry about their Peeping Tom population. According to Wikipedia, Antarctica has 0.0004 million summer people of the non-permanent variety (that probably equals a half person). Since this is winter (or is it summer in the South Pole?), I’ll still be on my best eating behavior on the slight chance Comcast is broadcasting nightly from the very deep South.

The most frightening episode of the show called “TV Watches Me” was when the Food Police (Australians) threatened to arrest me for violating myWW Rules of Engagement. As the advertisement for myWW aired on our anthropomorphic TV, I took that as my cue for nutritious snack time (potato chips). Wrong move! The long arm of the law literally reached out from TV abyss-land and grabbed me by my potato chips (not pleasant)!

Until next week, my advice to you is when you are relaxing (snacking) in your TV room, enlist the aid of a food police lookout, know the smart point value of your snacks and be happier.

Sandra Warholic Seeley - All my life, and half of someone else's, I have lived in a humorous place called Earth. My muse is a tiny menehune from the island of Oahu in Hawaii where I lived for a year. Ernest Hemingway once sat under the exact same coconut tree where I did most of my writing. I'm also a sensitive to criticism Virgo who loves to get paid for writing and speaking funny stuff. Even though my mind is filled with volcanic ash residue and I'm still finding sand in my shorts, I will continue to write until my muse retires or I run out of pretty blue drinks, whichever comes first. Don't be bashful, email the author.

Friday, January 03, 2020

The Lighter Side of Weight Loss: Chapter Twenty-nine


The Lighter Side of Weight Loss
By Sandra Warholic Seeley                         
                                                                                             
Chapter Twenty-nine

Happy New Year to all!

As WW members, we are encouraged to take time for ourselves. Well, 2020 is giving us one extra day to do just that. I’m trying to decide how I want to spend these 24 hours. Should I take them all at once or spread them out over the year? If I spread them out, that’s roughly 4 minutes a day (according to my math challenged brain). I really would prefer to have 5 minutes each day just for me. Is it a felony if I steal some time from Jim Croce’s bottle? And where did he get it in the first place?

I just discovered that there is actually a catalog called “Time for Me.” They claim to be dedicated to the art of well-being. I like art, well-being and shopping. Put a tally mark in the win column for me! Time and money well spent, especially since I am now wearing a smaller size.

My New Year’s Resolution this year is actually more achievable than my Resolutions involving weight loss from the last 73 years (I started attending WW workshops while still incubating. I hatched as a plump little chick, resolving to do better the next year. Look how that’s working out for me!) So this year I’m taking a Leap Year of faith and resolving to lose a few pounds each month until I reach my goal and to devote more time each day for serious writing. (Don’t worry, I’ll still be writing fluffy stuff too!) Since writing is my passion, I’m vowing to spend more quality time with me every day.

It’s now Day 2 of the new year, and I haven’t broken my resolution yet. Yesterday, I submitted my first article to “Taste of Pittsburgh” magazine. I don’t know if they will use it, but after applying for the job of freelance writer, taking an online writing test, completing a “curveball” (editor-in-chief’s word for it) phone interview and speaking several times with the CEO/publisher/founder of the magazine, I’m keeping my fingers crossed.

I also submitted “The Lighter Side of Weight Loss: Halfway to Goal” to Dorrance Publishing Company. They accepted it, but the downside is they want me to assume all costs of editing, publishing, marketing, etc. In my writing dreams, a publishing company gives me a huge advance and I lose more weight in order to look good on the back cover of my book and to look stunning at Barnes and Noble book signings. Now I have questions. Did anyone from Dorrance even read my manuscript? Would anyone buy my book? Should I start a Go Fund Me campaign to finance over $3,000 in publishing costs? Anyone care to donate?

Making time for me also means that I’m going to continue working on my fictional novel. The protagonist is a fifth grade girl dealing with the serious consequences of bullying. This future best-selling hardback is halfway finished (like me). I just realized that food has been bullying me for many years. The next time this happens, I’m going to tell an adult.

Now for a few other time for me activities that I’m considering attempting. You just may see me vlogging on Connect or scoping on Periscope. I need to check my bravery meter first. I’m not sure if I have the courage to be in front of the camera.

In the song “Seasons of Love,” we are told there are 525,600 minutes in a year. How do you plan on measuring your year? I’m resolving to take more of those minutes for me. I’m also claiming a NSV (non-scale related victory) since I haven’t eaten anything in the time it took to write this chapter.

Until next week, be selfish with your time and be happier!


Sandra Warholic Seeley - All my life, and half of someone else's, I have lived in a humorous place called Earth. My muse is a tiny menehune from the island of Oahu in Hawaii where I lived for a year. Ernest Hemingway once sat under the exact same coconut tree where I did most of my writing. I'm also a sensitive to criticism Virgo who loves to get paid for writing and speaking funny stuff. Even though my mind is filled with volcanic ash residue and I'm still finding sand in my shorts, I will continue to write until my muse retires or I run out of pretty blue drinks, whichever comes first. Don't be bashful, email the author.

Friday, December 27, 2019

The Lighter Side of Weight Loss: Chapter Twenty-eight


The Lighter Side of Weight Loss                                               
By Sandra Warholic Seeley

Chapter Twenty-eight

We, as WW members, have just relegated 2019 into the Christmas Past category. It is now time to start thinking about changes that must be made before the arrival of Christmas Future. As in “A Christmas Carol’” the future is mysterious and unknowable.

My personal goal (Resolution) is to be at my goal weight by Christmas 2020. Losing four pounds a month should be a piece of cake, right? Wrong analogy! Pieces of cake are not conducive to weight loss. However, there is no mystery involved with following the WW plan. Even though the future is unknowable, we do have some control over its outcome.

So here’s my plan. Today is December 27th. I have five days to lose one pound, which means one pound already in the debit column of weight loss 2020. I’m going to take this pound and convert it to dollars as a credit in my bank account. Since a British pound is worth more (I think) than a US dollar, and since math confuses me (when in Toronto, I reached a point of saying here’s all my money, please give me the correct change!), I’m just going to give myself $5.00 for every pound lost (measurable WW goal). By Christmas Future, I will have enough money saved to buy a killer little black dress. Add some strappy heels and newly acquired dancing skills and I will be ready to celebrate a rockin’ New Year’s Eve with my favorite husband, Edward the Great!

I just want to give a shout-out to ETG. We have been married for 41 years. Last night, he winked at me and my heart did a little stutter step (not a modern term, but neither are we). Google a “stutter step” video to see the fun way my heart reacted. My old blue eyes still has the magic wicked wink (touch - blush, blush). He is also very supportive of my weight loss efforts, and tells me how proud he is of me. Yay for Team Seeley! Also, stutter steps (euphemism) are great activity points!

As the new year approaches, I think like Scrooge, we can all have a change of heart. With the arrival of Christmas Future, we can all be better versions of ourselves.

I will conclude with the words of Tiny Tim and say, ““God bless us, every one!”

Until next week and next year, be tinier and happier!

Sandra Warholic Seeley - All my life, and half of someone else's, I have lived in a humorous place called Earth. My muse is a tiny menehune from the island of Oahu in Hawaii where I lived for a year. Ernest Hemingway once sat under the exact same coconut tree where I did most of my writing. I'm also a sensitive to criticism Virgo who loves to get paid for writing and speaking funny stuff. Even though my mind is filled with volcanic ash residue and I'm still finding sand in my shorts, I will continue to write until my muse retires or I run out of pretty blue drinks, whichever comes first. Don't be bashful, email the author.

Friday, December 20, 2019

The Lighter Side of Weight Loss: Chapter Twenty-seven


The Lighter Side of Weight Loss                           
By Sandra Warholic Seeley

Chapter Twenty-seven

Road trips and belly laughs shared with a favorite sister are priceless. For example, we recently drove from Pittsburgh to Cleveland, a quick two hour trip. We were in the slow lane when out of nowhere a car passed us (flying low). My sister said, “Wow! I didn’t see that coming!” At the same time, we both realized the car was completely covered in camouflage paint. It felt wonderful to laugh in unison for an extended period of time. In fact, I still chuckle to myself when I think about it. Also, I think “chuckle” is a funny word. Did I just write a double entendre (not the smutty kind) or make a pun? Either way, this is one reason I write - to amuse myself, and hopefully, you, too. I just want to add that I got my humorous gene from my sister. She’s younger than me, but that’s the way humor genes roll.

How is this myWW related you may ask? Well, I started thinking about all the times in life that events or people come into our lives at the most unexpected times. A person could be an angel in camouflage, either literally or figuratively speaking. I’d love to see St. Michael the Archangel in full army gear. Perhaps I have. These thoughts make me think of WW’s mindset. How do we react to rude people we encounter when we are out and about, especially at this time of the year? Was my parking spot “stolen” before I could claim it? Do I get so angry at things beyond my control that I go home to eat the whole enchilada? It’s only 8 smart points, right?

Why not laugh at rudeness, parking spot thieves, long lines, gridlock, politics (not going there), weather, even if only you can hear the sound of it underneath your babushka (when was the last time you heard that word?). I recently heard a man tell someone in a grocery store to “move your dupa!” I laughed out loud. Now when I want someone to move their_ _ _, my mind inserts the word “dupa” and I’m laughing instead of thinking about Spanish goodies or French pastries or Italian pasta. My appetite is an international wonder!

I truly believe that laughter uses up calories and anger. It’s the best anger management tool invented by woman (probably). So on your next road trip (local mall), you can hire my sister or me to go with you. We guarantee funny results. Price is negotiable.

Until next week, embrace the unexpected with laughter and be happier.

Sandra Warholic Seeley - All my life, and half of someone else's, I have lived in a humorous place called Earth. My muse is a tiny menehune from the island of Oahu in Hawaii where I lived for a year. Ernest Hemingway once sat under the exact same coconut tree where I did most of my writing. I'm also a sensitive to criticism Virgo who loves to get paid for writing and speaking funny stuff. Even though my mind is filled with volcanic ash residue and I'm still finding sand in my shorts, I will continue to write until my muse retires or I run out of pretty blue drinks, whichever comes first. Don't be bashful, email the author.

Friday, December 13, 2019

The Lighter Side of Weight Loss: Chapter Twenty-six

The Lighter Side of Weight Loss
By Sandra Warholic Seeley

Chapter Twenty-six

On this WW odyssey, there are an infinite number of trials and tribulations in our way, preventing us from reaching our goal. Like Homer’s Odysseus, some of us (me) have been on this epic journey ten years or more.

Storms are raging around us while the Siren call of overeating lures us with her enchanting song toward the rocks. We could have a loved one tie us to a kitchen chair in order to hear her song, but not fall victim to it. We must also be as clever as Odysseus in order to outsmart our personal Mr. Cyclops. Just remember not to taunt him. Dire consequences will follow.

One way to be clever is to ask for help. I asked Zeus, the king of the German Shepherds in Seeley mythology, to help me not only with daily activity points, but also with decorating for Christmas. As you can see from the picture, he was happy to help. Isn’t he a handsome boy? After playing untangle the lights, he insisted on going outside multiple times for reindeer games, modified for GSD’s and humans.

Cleverest of all, I asked my favorite husband ( only have one, but sometimes “favorite” is also Seeley mythology. Just sayin’ Ed!) for help. Please do not eat my WW popcorn, treats, potatoes (I’m passionate about myWW’s purple plan and pointless potatoes), and food in general. He agreed and mentioned that he never actually eats my stash.He added that perhaps I’m exercising creative license at his expense. Perhaps I am!

In all seriousness, our family, friends, co-workers, etc. are not mind readers (except for that one Carnac the Magnificent in every social circle). So let people know what you need to return home from your WW odyssey to Ithaca, New York or wherever home (Lifetime) is located. Hopefully, Argos, your faithful dog, will recognize you no matter how much weight you have lost.

Zeus recognizes me every time I come home. He also recognizes, from my scent alone, every nibble I may have even thought about during my time away from him. Note to guests to our home: Zeus may try to eat you (or at least lick you repeatedly) if you are wearing Christmas Cocoa and Mint body lotion from Bath and Body Works. WW member confession time: I’ve been known to lick myself into a drunken stupor when wearing Black Cherry Merlot hand lotion from Bath and Body Works for a zero point treat. Post Script note to fragrant guests: Beware of me!

Until next week, be very clever and happier on your WW odyssey.


Sandra Warholic Seeley - All my life, and half of someone else's, I have lived in a humorous place called Earth. My muse is a tiny menehune from the island of Oahu in Hawaii where I lived for a year. Ernest Hemingway once sat under the exact same coconut tree where I did most of my writing. I'm also a sensitive to criticism Virgo who loves to get paid for writing and speaking funny stuff. Even though my mind is filled with volcanic ash residue and I'm still finding sand in my shorts, I will continue to write until my muse retires or I run out of pretty blue drinks, whichever comes first. Don't be bashful, email the author.
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