Saturday, January 18, 2020

The Lighter Side of Weight Loss: Chapter Thirty-one


The Lighter Side of Weight Loss
By Sandra Warholic Seeley

Chapter Thirty-one

My Week-At-A-Glance in retrospect could have used more planning skills. Some tasks went well, others not so well. On Monday, Christmas was boxed and stored for another year, with only a random ornament crying for its lost box. There are more lost objects in the Seeley household than the combined totals of American lost and found boxes, British lost property and Canadian lost articles. Not so favorite husband’s cell phone is among the missing. Please place him on your do not call list, he can no longer answer your annoying call. I can often be found searching for lost objects or found searching for food to mask my sorrow over lost objects. With better planning, I can use 28 smart points per week for sustenance during search and rescue operations.

Tuesday was rather uneventful except for the trip to Denny’s Restaurant for a Berry Vanilla One Crepe Breakfast. Denny actually woke me from a sound sleep and ordered me to appear at his house that morning. According to my calculations, Denny cost me 19 of my 16 daily smart points, and I had already consumed some leftover Christmas cookies as I was still lamenting lost objects. With better planning, I can put Denny on mute!

On Wednesday we had to make an expensive trip to Dr. Dermatology Specialists’s office for our Zeus’ canine allergy vaccine. We recently had him tested for allergies (due to excessive scratching of body parts), and found him to be allergic to trees, grass, mold, dust mites and many other allergens, including cats! Hopefully, we will become experts at giving him his injections on a long term basis. Hopefully, he will not try to eat us while we do so. Hopefully, I will not try to eat away my stress. Hopefully, all cats will avoid 119 pounds of German Shepherd sneezing fits. It’s not in their best interests to trigger his allergies. With better planning, I can have healthy treats on hand for Zeus and me.

Thursday is my line dancing class at our local YMCA. This is one event of my week that went very well. One member said to me, “Aren’t you the person who almost quit dancing during our first class? And look at you now!” Yes, look at me now. I am having fun doing an activity that I have always wanted to learn, but was afraid to try. My success is giving me the confidence to never pass up the chance to dance. In fact, I also line dance every Monday night at a local club. I’m making new friends while dancing off the pounds. How’s that for good planning?

Today (Friday), I’m contemplating all the planning that will be necessary for a foot operation scheduled for February 3, 2020. First of all, I have to lose 5 pounds to match the weight (lie) I already told my surgeon. Wearing a cement block on my right foot is not scale friendly. I may have to just dance on my left foot. Is it legal to drive in PA with one’s left foot on the gas pedal? With great planning, I’m anticipating a huge weight loss at my first post-op weigh in.

Until next week, plan for your own success and be happier.

Sandra Warholic Seeley - All my life, and half of someone else's, I have lived in a humorous place called Earth. My muse is a tiny menehune from the island of Oahu in Hawaii where I lived for a year. Ernest Hemingway once sat under the exact same coconut tree where I did most of my writing. I'm also a sensitive to criticism Virgo who loves to get paid for writing and speaking funny stuff. Even though my mind is filled with volcanic ash residue and I'm still finding sand in my shorts, I will continue to write until my muse retires or I run out of pretty blue drinks, whichever comes first. Don't be bashful, email the author.

Thursday, January 09, 2020

The Lighter Side of Weight Loss: Chapter Thirty


The Lighter Side of Weight Loss
By Sandra Warholic Seeley
                                                                                         
Chapter Thirty

If it’s true that my Smart TV is spying on me, two things need to happen. First of all, if I’m having a bad hair day, I need to play Hide and Seek with Mr. Flat Screen. Second in importance is learning how to develop a working relationship with Mr. FS (Flat Screen) during shared screen time.

If I’m being watched by not only my television, but also by the 7.8 billion people populating our planet (all hiding inside my flat screen), I need to modify my eating habits, stat! I need to consider which continents have the most people viewing me in order to make myself look good in their eyes. For example, Asia, Africa and Europe take the top three spots. They’re actually getting paid by Nielson to watch me. So on Asia night, I might not want to be snacking on a half gallon of mint chocolate chip ice cream straight from the carton. First of all, ice cream is difficult to eat with chopsticks and there has never been an Asian glutton (except for maybe that one immigrant). So I would not want to shock any Asian sensibilities.

North America and South America come in 4th and 5th place in population statistics using me for their viewing pleasure. North Americans are used to seeing one of their own eating without restraint, but the other day, all 422 million South Americans were yelling “Basta!” at me. No translation was needed, but my tiny, invisible Spanish friends broke the sound barrier with their unified voices. I’ve actually had “Enough!” backtalk from my TV. Tough love ( in decibel levels) is forcing me to rethink my eating habits.

That leaves the people on the continents of Oceania and Antarctica who will be watching me through Mr. FS’s giant eyeball. Since no one knows anything about Oceania, I’m not going to worry about their Peeping Tom population. According to Wikipedia, Antarctica has 0.0004 million summer people of the non-permanent variety (that probably equals a half person). Since this is winter (or is it summer in the South Pole?), I’ll still be on my best eating behavior on the slight chance Comcast is broadcasting nightly from the very deep South.

The most frightening episode of the show called “TV Watches Me” was when the Food Police (Australians) threatened to arrest me for violating myWW Rules of Engagement. As the advertisement for myWW aired on our anthropomorphic TV, I took that as my cue for nutritious snack time (potato chips). Wrong move! The long arm of the law literally reached out from TV abyss-land and grabbed me by my potato chips (not pleasant)!

Until next week, my advice to you is when you are relaxing (snacking) in your TV room, enlist the aid of a food police lookout, know the smart point value of your snacks and be happier.

Sandra Warholic Seeley - All my life, and half of someone else's, I have lived in a humorous place called Earth. My muse is a tiny menehune from the island of Oahu in Hawaii where I lived for a year. Ernest Hemingway once sat under the exact same coconut tree where I did most of my writing. I'm also a sensitive to criticism Virgo who loves to get paid for writing and speaking funny stuff. Even though my mind is filled with volcanic ash residue and I'm still finding sand in my shorts, I will continue to write until my muse retires or I run out of pretty blue drinks, whichever comes first. Don't be bashful, email the author.

Friday, January 03, 2020

The Lighter Side of Weight Loss: Chapter Twenty-nine


The Lighter Side of Weight Loss
By Sandra Warholic Seeley                         
                                                                                             
Chapter Twenty-nine

Happy New Year to all!

As WW members, we are encouraged to take time for ourselves. Well, 2020 is giving us one extra day to do just that. I’m trying to decide how I want to spend these 24 hours. Should I take them all at once or spread them out over the year? If I spread them out, that’s roughly 4 minutes a day (according to my math challenged brain). I really would prefer to have 5 minutes each day just for me. Is it a felony if I steal some time from Jim Croce’s bottle? And where did he get it in the first place?

I just discovered that there is actually a catalog called “Time for Me.” They claim to be dedicated to the art of well-being. I like art, well-being and shopping. Put a tally mark in the win column for me! Time and money well spent, especially since I am now wearing a smaller size.

My New Year’s Resolution this year is actually more achievable than my Resolutions involving weight loss from the last 73 years (I started attending WW workshops while still incubating. I hatched as a plump little chick, resolving to do better the next year. Look how that’s working out for me!) So this year I’m taking a Leap Year of faith and resolving to lose a few pounds each month until I reach my goal and to devote more time each day for serious writing. (Don’t worry, I’ll still be writing fluffy stuff too!) Since writing is my passion, I’m vowing to spend more quality time with me every day.

It’s now Day 2 of the new year, and I haven’t broken my resolution yet. Yesterday, I submitted my first article to “Taste of Pittsburgh” magazine. I don’t know if they will use it, but after applying for the job of freelance writer, taking an online writing test, completing a “curveball” (editor-in-chief’s word for it) phone interview and speaking several times with the CEO/publisher/founder of the magazine, I’m keeping my fingers crossed.

I also submitted “The Lighter Side of Weight Loss: Halfway to Goal” to Dorrance Publishing Company. They accepted it, but the downside is they want me to assume all costs of editing, publishing, marketing, etc. In my writing dreams, a publishing company gives me a huge advance and I lose more weight in order to look good on the back cover of my book and to look stunning at Barnes and Noble book signings. Now I have questions. Did anyone from Dorrance even read my manuscript? Would anyone buy my book? Should I start a Go Fund Me campaign to finance over $3,000 in publishing costs? Anyone care to donate?

Making time for me also means that I’m going to continue working on my fictional novel. The protagonist is a fifth grade girl dealing with the serious consequences of bullying. This future best-selling hardback is halfway finished (like me). I just realized that food has been bullying me for many years. The next time this happens, I’m going to tell an adult.

Now for a few other time for me activities that I’m considering attempting. You just may see me vlogging on Connect or scoping on Periscope. I need to check my bravery meter first. I’m not sure if I have the courage to be in front of the camera.

In the song “Seasons of Love,” we are told there are 525,600 minutes in a year. How do you plan on measuring your year? I’m resolving to take more of those minutes for me. I’m also claiming a NSV (non-scale related victory) since I haven’t eaten anything in the time it took to write this chapter.

Until next week, be selfish with your time and be happier!


Sandra Warholic Seeley - All my life, and half of someone else's, I have lived in a humorous place called Earth. My muse is a tiny menehune from the island of Oahu in Hawaii where I lived for a year. Ernest Hemingway once sat under the exact same coconut tree where I did most of my writing. I'm also a sensitive to criticism Virgo who loves to get paid for writing and speaking funny stuff. Even though my mind is filled with volcanic ash residue and I'm still finding sand in my shorts, I will continue to write until my muse retires or I run out of pretty blue drinks, whichever comes first. Don't be bashful, email the author.

Friday, December 27, 2019

The Lighter Side of Weight Loss: Chapter Twenty-eight


The Lighter Side of Weight Loss                                               
By Sandra Warholic Seeley

Chapter Twenty-eight

We, as WW members, have just relegated 2019 into the Christmas Past category. It is now time to start thinking about changes that must be made before the arrival of Christmas Future. As in “A Christmas Carol’” the future is mysterious and unknowable.

My personal goal (Resolution) is to be at my goal weight by Christmas 2020. Losing four pounds a month should be a piece of cake, right? Wrong analogy! Pieces of cake are not conducive to weight loss. However, there is no mystery involved with following the WW plan. Even though the future is unknowable, we do have some control over its outcome.

So here’s my plan. Today is December 27th. I have five days to lose one pound, which means one pound already in the debit column of weight loss 2020. I’m going to take this pound and convert it to dollars as a credit in my bank account. Since a British pound is worth more (I think) than a US dollar, and since math confuses me (when in Toronto, I reached a point of saying here’s all my money, please give me the correct change!), I’m just going to give myself $5.00 for every pound lost (measurable WW goal). By Christmas Future, I will have enough money saved to buy a killer little black dress. Add some strappy heels and newly acquired dancing skills and I will be ready to celebrate a rockin’ New Year’s Eve with my favorite husband, Edward the Great!

I just want to give a shout-out to ETG. We have been married for 41 years. Last night, he winked at me and my heart did a little stutter step (not a modern term, but neither are we). Google a “stutter step” video to see the fun way my heart reacted. My old blue eyes still has the magic wicked wink (touch - blush, blush). He is also very supportive of my weight loss efforts, and tells me how proud he is of me. Yay for Team Seeley! Also, stutter steps (euphemism) are great activity points!

As the new year approaches, I think like Scrooge, we can all have a change of heart. With the arrival of Christmas Future, we can all be better versions of ourselves.

I will conclude with the words of Tiny Tim and say, ““God bless us, every one!”

Until next week and next year, be tinier and happier!

Sandra Warholic Seeley - All my life, and half of someone else's, I have lived in a humorous place called Earth. My muse is a tiny menehune from the island of Oahu in Hawaii where I lived for a year. Ernest Hemingway once sat under the exact same coconut tree where I did most of my writing. I'm also a sensitive to criticism Virgo who loves to get paid for writing and speaking funny stuff. Even though my mind is filled with volcanic ash residue and I'm still finding sand in my shorts, I will continue to write until my muse retires or I run out of pretty blue drinks, whichever comes first. Don't be bashful, email the author.

Friday, December 20, 2019

The Lighter Side of Weight Loss: Chapter Twenty-seven


The Lighter Side of Weight Loss                           
By Sandra Warholic Seeley

Chapter Twenty-seven

Road trips and belly laughs shared with a favorite sister are priceless. For example, we recently drove from Pittsburgh to Cleveland, a quick two hour trip. We were in the slow lane when out of nowhere a car passed us (flying low). My sister said, “Wow! I didn’t see that coming!” At the same time, we both realized the car was completely covered in camouflage paint. It felt wonderful to laugh in unison for an extended period of time. In fact, I still chuckle to myself when I think about it. Also, I think “chuckle” is a funny word. Did I just write a double entendre (not the smutty kind) or make a pun? Either way, this is one reason I write - to amuse myself, and hopefully, you, too. I just want to add that I got my humorous gene from my sister. She’s younger than me, but that’s the way humor genes roll.

How is this myWW related you may ask? Well, I started thinking about all the times in life that events or people come into our lives at the most unexpected times. A person could be an angel in camouflage, either literally or figuratively speaking. I’d love to see St. Michael the Archangel in full army gear. Perhaps I have. These thoughts make me think of WW’s mindset. How do we react to rude people we encounter when we are out and about, especially at this time of the year? Was my parking spot “stolen” before I could claim it? Do I get so angry at things beyond my control that I go home to eat the whole enchilada? It’s only 8 smart points, right?

Why not laugh at rudeness, parking spot thieves, long lines, gridlock, politics (not going there), weather, even if only you can hear the sound of it underneath your babushka (when was the last time you heard that word?). I recently heard a man tell someone in a grocery store to “move your dupa!” I laughed out loud. Now when I want someone to move their_ _ _, my mind inserts the word “dupa” and I’m laughing instead of thinking about Spanish goodies or French pastries or Italian pasta. My appetite is an international wonder!

I truly believe that laughter uses up calories and anger. It’s the best anger management tool invented by woman (probably). So on your next road trip (local mall), you can hire my sister or me to go with you. We guarantee funny results. Price is negotiable.

Until next week, embrace the unexpected with laughter and be happier.

Sandra Warholic Seeley - All my life, and half of someone else's, I have lived in a humorous place called Earth. My muse is a tiny menehune from the island of Oahu in Hawaii where I lived for a year. Ernest Hemingway once sat under the exact same coconut tree where I did most of my writing. I'm also a sensitive to criticism Virgo who loves to get paid for writing and speaking funny stuff. Even though my mind is filled with volcanic ash residue and I'm still finding sand in my shorts, I will continue to write until my muse retires or I run out of pretty blue drinks, whichever comes first. Don't be bashful, email the author.

Friday, December 13, 2019

The Lighter Side of Weight Loss: Chapter Twenty-six

The Lighter Side of Weight Loss
By Sandra Warholic Seeley

Chapter Twenty-six

On this WW odyssey, there are an infinite number of trials and tribulations in our way, preventing us from reaching our goal. Like Homer’s Odysseus, some of us (me) have been on this epic journey ten years or more.

Storms are raging around us while the Siren call of overeating lures us with her enchanting song toward the rocks. We could have a loved one tie us to a kitchen chair in order to hear her song, but not fall victim to it. We must also be as clever as Odysseus in order to outsmart our personal Mr. Cyclops. Just remember not to taunt him. Dire consequences will follow.

One way to be clever is to ask for help. I asked Zeus, the king of the German Shepherds in Seeley mythology, to help me not only with daily activity points, but also with decorating for Christmas. As you can see from the picture, he was happy to help. Isn’t he a handsome boy? After playing untangle the lights, he insisted on going outside multiple times for reindeer games, modified for GSD’s and humans.

Cleverest of all, I asked my favorite husband ( only have one, but sometimes “favorite” is also Seeley mythology. Just sayin’ Ed!) for help. Please do not eat my WW popcorn, treats, potatoes (I’m passionate about myWW’s purple plan and pointless potatoes), and food in general. He agreed and mentioned that he never actually eats my stash.He added that perhaps I’m exercising creative license at his expense. Perhaps I am!

In all seriousness, our family, friends, co-workers, etc. are not mind readers (except for that one Carnac the Magnificent in every social circle). So let people know what you need to return home from your WW odyssey to Ithaca, New York or wherever home (Lifetime) is located. Hopefully, Argos, your faithful dog, will recognize you no matter how much weight you have lost.

Zeus recognizes me every time I come home. He also recognizes, from my scent alone, every nibble I may have even thought about during my time away from him. Note to guests to our home: Zeus may try to eat you (or at least lick you repeatedly) if you are wearing Christmas Cocoa and Mint body lotion from Bath and Body Works. WW member confession time: I’ve been known to lick myself into a drunken stupor when wearing Black Cherry Merlot hand lotion from Bath and Body Works for a zero point treat. Post Script note to fragrant guests: Beware of me!

Until next week, be very clever and happier on your WW odyssey.


Sandra Warholic Seeley - All my life, and half of someone else's, I have lived in a humorous place called Earth. My muse is a tiny menehune from the island of Oahu in Hawaii where I lived for a year. Ernest Hemingway once sat under the exact same coconut tree where I did most of my writing. I'm also a sensitive to criticism Virgo who loves to get paid for writing and speaking funny stuff. Even though my mind is filled with volcanic ash residue and I'm still finding sand in my shorts, I will continue to write until my muse retires or I run out of pretty blue drinks, whichever comes first. Don't be bashful, email the author.

Sunday, December 08, 2019

Dancing Transformation

Dancing Transformation

I’m thrilled to say I lost 3 pounds last week (45.8 so far) due to myWW Purple Plan and dancing in lines. I have now progressed from non-dancer status to getting a standing ovation from my whole line dancing class. Let me explain: Paul, my instructor, was dancing the Country Waltz (my favorite line dance) with me, while the rest of the class danced solo. Paul is the only male in our class, therefore he’s very much in demand as a partner (lucky me).

As Paul and I one, two, threed our way from Texas to the big Montana sky (dancing to Say Goodbye to Montana) I lost myself in the music and movement. When the song ended, the whole class erupted in applause. Does it count as a standing ovation if everyone is already standing? Does it count as applause for me if the students typically clap at the end of a dance? Did I look like an idiot when I thanked the crowd for acknowledging my progress and they were just randomly clapping? It doesn’t matter! I did NOT look like an idiot while dancing in public and having the time of my life.

So again, I thank the person on Connect who suggested that I take a line dancing class. I also started attending a senior swing class with some Latin rhythms. Stay tuned for some salsa spiced thoughts.


Sandra Warholic Seeley - All my life, and half of someone else's, I have lived in a humorous place called Earth. My muse is a tiny menehune from the island of Oahu in Hawaii where I lived for a year. Ernest Hemingway once sat under the exact same coconut tree where I did most of my writing. I'm also a sensitive to criticism Virgo who loves to get paid for writing and speaking funny stuff. Even though my mind is filled with volcanic ash residue and I'm still finding sand in my shorts, I will continue to write until my muse retires or I run out of pretty blue drinks, whichever comes first. Don't be bashful, email the author.

Friday, December 06, 2019

The Lighter Side of Weight Loss: Chapter Twenty-five

The Lighter Side of Weight Loss
By Sandra Warholic Seeley

Chapter Twenty-five                                                   

I think next year WW should have a float in Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade. All WW members would live in a crate in New Jersey until the big day. We would then have to audition for the part of WW Float cast member.

To get the part, we would have had to do the usual WW requirements while living in our crate like, tracking, tallying points and trimming our portions. Otherwise known as the Triple T strategy.

The second part of our audition would require the willingness to be filled with nitrous oxide (laughing gas) which is actually denser than air. We don’t want to float away with all the helium filled balloons surrounding us. Instead of singing for the crowd in front of Macy’s, we would all be laughing uncontrollably to let the world know how happy WW members are. It would be a cacophony of laughter. (I just like to say cacophony!)

I once experienced laughing gas first hand at a tooth extraction session. (Think fear of the sadistic dentist in the movie “Marathon Man.”) I drove myself home, laughing out loud the whole way. Going to the oral surgeon is so much fun!

And finally, our audition judges would measure our wind speed (excuses for not losing weight) with the dreaded anemometer! I will leave it to your imagination (mine is vivid) to figure out how this works.

I actually got to ride on the Green Giant Float in the parade this year. That’s me in the picture waving to the crowd. I was selected for this honorary position due to the number of vegetables, especially green ones, consumed by me this year. At the bottom of the picture, but out of sight, is my handler, a food police officer, one of New York’s finest. He kept me following the letter of WW law to reach my half-way to goal milestone.

I wish you luck on your audition next year. I plan on being 100% at goal (minus a few pounds more as a safety flotation device). Send me your ideas for the theme of our WW Float 2020. See you in New York next year and in Connect next week.

Until then, be aware of your TTT and be happier.


Sandra Warholic Seeley - All my life, and half of someone else's, I have lived in a humorous place called Earth. My muse is a tiny menehune from the island of Oahu in Hawaii where I lived for a year. Ernest Hemingway once sat under the exact same coconut tree where I did most of my writing. I'm also a sensitive to criticism Virgo who loves to get paid for writing and speaking funny stuff. Even though my mind is filled with volcanic ash residue and I'm still finding sand in my shorts, I will continue to write until my muse retires or I run out of pretty blue drinks, whichever comes first. Don't be bashful, email the author.

Friday, November 29, 2019

The Lighter Side of Weight Loss: Chapter Twenty-four

The Lighter Side of Weight Loss
By Sandra Warholic Seeley                           

Chapter Twenty-four

(Answering your phone call to me) “Sandy the Elf here, what’s your favorite color?”

Mine is purple, in more ways than one. I recently saw the musical production of “Elf” at the University of California, Pennsylvania, my alma mater. ( I’m still searching for my alma pater, but those records are sealed.) I smiled from beginning to end, and as an aspiring humor writer, I want to say that “I just like to smile, smiling’s my favorite.”

As an elf and a WW member I know that “We elves try to stick to the four main food groups: candy, candy canes, candy corns and syrup.” We humans try to exercise portion control. The elf side of me and the human WW side of me are in a constant tug-of-war. My fractured personalities can emerge in a heartbeat. One second I am WW member extraordinaire, the next second I am a “cotton-headed ninny-muggins!” I promised Santa (Coach Kathy) that 2020 would be less syrupy!

“I passed through the seven levels of the Candy Cane Forest (Hell), through the sea of swirly twirly gum drops (guilt trips), and then I walked through the Lincoln Tunnel (Liberty Tunnel, hey I’m in Pittsburgh, afterall!)” to get half way to my goal weight. I need to stay off Santa’s naughty list to reach and maintain my magic number. (110 pounds...I lied, but then I also once lied to my anesthesiologist assuming he would add a few pounds to my chart!) Although I’m not proud of it, I’ve been known to “sit on a throne of lies,” and let me tell you, lies have been known to cause a prickly butt rash and weight gain!

So let me just say that “gum on the street is not free candy,” nor is it zero smart points, nor is it very smart to chew leftovers of any kind, especially if you just finished a meal.

As we celebrate our Thanksgiving successes: including but not limited to such non scale victories as avoiding arguments with relatives, considering family drama the latest blockbuster movie for your viewing pleasure, creating rubber body armor where insults bounce off your sensitive spots (mine are located in both knees and lower back), setting your default response to laughter instead of tears, we can now count down the days to more holiday fun (agony). Either we can employ the strategies listed above, or become a holiday hermit.

I’m going to take the advice of my friend, Buddy the Elf, who told me that the best way to spread Christmas cheer is singing loud for all to hear. So I’m singing, I’m in a WW blog and I’m singing. And to paraphrase Buddy, I’m following a nice purple WW plan. It’s very purpley!

Until next week, remember that Santa is coming and “there’s room for everyone on the Nice List!” Be nicer and happier!


Sandra Warholic Seeley - All my life, and half of someone else's, I have lived in a humorous place called Earth. My muse is a tiny menehune from the island of Oahu in Hawaii where I lived for a year. Ernest Hemingway once sat under the exact same coconut tree where I did most of my writing. I'm also a sensitive to criticism Virgo who loves to get paid for writing and speaking funny stuff. Even though my mind is filled with volcanic ash residue and I'm still finding sand in my shorts, I will continue to write until my muse retires or I run out of pretty blue drinks, whichever comes first. Don't be bashful, email the author.

Friday, November 22, 2019

The Lighter Side of Weight Loss: Chapter Twenty-three


The Lighter Side of Weight Loss
By Sandra Warholic Seeley                                     

Chapter Twenty-three

I’ve got the blues, the purples and the greens this week. The blues are depressing and “it’s not easy being green.” So I’m trying out the pretty, purple WW plan to tease my palate into 16 Smart Point submission. My secret weapon is potatoes.They are my favorite vegetable.I have read that a potato contains more potassium than a banana. This is a good thing. I have also read that potato eyes are toxic to humans. This is a very bad thing .I have promised myself not to eat any eyeballs, but wondered if it is bad for me to eat eyes hiding in potato skins which are good for me.I also read that the first potatoes arrived in North America via Bermuda in 1621.Therefore, in my opinion, potato immigrants should be allowed to stay here because they are tasty.

“So, how’s the purple plan working out for you so far?” I asked myself.

Myself answered, “Great! It’s only Tuesday (my weigh-in day is Saturday) and I’ve had taters both baked and mashed, and my taste buds were screaming with zero point delight.”

For four days now, I’ve stayed within my point range, tracked those points religiously, fought off hunger pangs with fruits, veggies, chicken, sticks and stones. And here’s the funny thing: I’m losing weight! Even funnier, I think I would be losing weight on “Joseph’s Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat” Plan if I played by the rules.

So here’s my game plan. I’m going to stick with purple for the recommended time (I think it’s twelve years), and then I’m going to return to Blue Land where I get more points and can still have potatoes with butter and salt. But this time, I promised my coach that I would memorize the WW Rule Book and follow it. But I’m starting to worry because Coach Kathy has been spotted carrying a bunch of yellow penalty flags in her back pocket. Will I have to move 5 rows back? Well, I decline the penalty because it wasn’t me committing the infraction.

Until next week, play by the rules, be thinner and happier.And remember, food is color blind.

Sandra Warholic Seeley - All my life, and half of someone else's, I have lived in a humorous place called Earth. My muse is a tiny menehune from the island of Oahu in Hawaii where I lived for a year. Ernest Hemingway once sat under the exact same coconut tree where I did most of my writing. I'm also a sensitive to criticism Virgo who loves to get paid for writing and speaking funny stuff. Even though my mind is filled with volcanic ash residue and I'm still finding sand in my shorts, I will continue to write until my muse retires or I run out of pretty blue drinks, whichever comes first. Don't be bashful, email the author.
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