Monday, July 27, 2015

Oops



"Oops" is a funny word, but the events that follow are funny or not/fiction or not. You decide.

This is a picture of me, Kanela, standing on the Pali Cliffs of Oahu. They are over 1,000 feet high with howling winds.The very same cliffs that King Kamehameha I (not to be confused with King Kamehameha II) in 1795 used for enemy removal. Waste Management came every Monday for pick-up at least 400 times.

So here are the people I intend to invite to a Pali Cliff Party:

Dear Donald Trumpet, Come blow your own horn with me immediately. No need to bring logic or reason. Oh, I forgot, you don't have any. Step a little closer to the edge for that special photo opportunity. One more step. Oops!

Dear Principals X, Y and Z, I'm throwing a Remember When Party just for you. Don't feel threatened if I back you to the edge. You would never have done that to me. Oops!

Dear Lawn Guy, We have some unfinished business such as clearing certain areas of my yard and applying Preen to prevent future poison ivy growth. You were paid in advance, but after a month of phone calls, I still can't reach you. Please come to my party and we will call ourselves even. Oops!

Dear Health America, Before you come to my party, you might want to consider a Pali Cliff Advantage Program for yourself. Don't worry, you won't have to wait weeks for an MRI approval or pay thousands of dollars in hospital costs because you were only admitted for observation. You won't be admitted at all. Oops!

Dear Neighbor, We are going to have a fireworks party on the Pali Cliff. You set off explosions days before and after the 4th of July that traumatized my assistant, Wolfgang. Therefore, I'm not bringing him, just bringing a lot of residual anger (I mean goodwill). The edge of the cliff is the perfect spot for launching your missiles, mortars and shells, bottle rockets and other legal or illegal pyrotechnics. Accidents sometimes happen when handling dangerous objects. Oops!

Dear Reader, Don't panic. I'm not inviting you to my party (unless you don't leave a nice comment). I'm inviting you to suggest other possible party attendees. If I get enough of them, I could write a "Last Seen on the Pali Cliff" article (as opposed to the "Seen" articles in my local newspaper). Oops!

Aloha and Mahalo,
Kanela





Sandra Warholic Seeley is the creator and author of Kanela's Korner and The Sandra Seeley Column. She is a lifelong educator who has taught in Hawaii, where Kanela was born; Bethel Park, where her 3 children were born and in the inner city schools of Pittsburgh Public where her passion for the underprivileged began. Kanela's Korner is often 95% fiction and 5% fact, leaving the reader to do the math. Her motto is: Funny or not, here I come! Her faithful assistant, Wolfgang, is always by her side. He looks just like a black Lab and works for treats. To contact the author, click the following link.

3 comments:

  1. I think we need to line the robo-callers up one after the other, and like dominos maybe they fall off the cliff... Oops!

    ReplyDelete
  2. I love your idea. They could request "Do not fall" status. Let's see how that works for them. Oops...

    ReplyDelete
  3. I love your idea. They could request "Do not fall" status. Let's see how that works for them. Oops...

    ReplyDelete

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