Ghosts of Birthdays Past, Present, and Future

Happy Birthday to Me!

Friday the 13th, back in the day, Kanela came out laughing hysterically at some "inside"joke. Doctors were mildly amused.(only recently have they been in touch with their funny bones). Mom giggled groggily and Dad raised me up, Rafiki like, in his extended arms and presented me to the fluorescent lights. So from the day I arrived on this planet and stepped into the light bulbs, I was filled with funny fluorescence and just couldn't wait to be Kanela. Go Daddy! (Not to be confused with Go Daddy.com)

September 13th of 2009 was Bobblehead Kanela Day at PNC Park. The Pittsburgh Pirates were originally scheduled to play the Houston Astros at Minute Maid Park, but the game was moved to Pittsburgh in my honor. I motivationally spoke like a pirate to the crowd of one during the 7th inning stretch and preached my no worries, problem-free philosophy to the team and fan. They sang "Hakuna Matata" to me and in lieu of innumerable birthday cake candles, Paul Maholm blew out my bobblehead with a 100 mph fastball pitch to match the Pirates soon to be 100 games lost.

September 13, 2039 again falls on a Friday. I anticipate a Virgo-esque birthday celebration. This will entail howling at the moon and doing it compulsively perfectly. I am the quintessential Virgo: feminine, introverted, earthy, perfectionist. I get along well with myself! And ironically,the Sanskrit name of Virgo in Hindu astrology is Kanya (Kanela)!

So as the Circle of Life continues, I realize there is light at the end of the tunnel. If it doesn't happen to be shining in mine, I'll just enter another's tunnel!



If you didn't feel the love in this article enough to leave a comment, no worries. I'm going to make a note to self. Be sure to read my comments to Kanela @ sandraseeley.com.

PS
Happy 92nd birthday to Supermom!

By-the-way, I would like to publicly thank Charlie Brown for bringing the whole Peanuts Gang to my ballgame birthday celebration. Buy me and yourself some Peanuts! You're a good bobblehead, Charlie Brown!

From Piggy Bank to Swiss Bank

Pig in a Panic!

You may be wondering what it will take to turn the banking industry around. I don't claim to have all the answers, but my Piggy Bank has turned his back on me.

This drastic attitude was a long time coming. I believe it started when deposits were no longer filling his belly. Mellon and then Citizens swayed me to feed their voracious financial appetites instead. Month after month automatic deposits went into my checking account.

And just last month, I discovered the ease of online banking. With a click of the mouse, I was able to transfer funds from one of my accounts to another. If you would like me to prove this to you, just email me your checking account number and I'll do the math!

Here's my next dilemma: do I return to my lifelong friend, Mr. Pig or continue to safeguard my substantial assets from public scrutiny and heavy-handed taxation by looking toward the very attractive option of the Swiss Bank Consortium? Swiss bank accounts can be opened for as little as $350 to $550, plus a small initial deposit. Opening deposits of $200,000 are often the minimum.

What to do? Offshore or offline?

Pig Bank vs Swiss Bank
I'm "Kanela" to Mr. Pig. I'm only a number to Switzerland.
Less "banky" vs More "banky"
Cash on hand vs Can't hold the cash
Muddy, but fun vs Clean

The deal breaker came down to a motto. I had decided on Bank COOP - Switzerland. but then I realized their motto was: COOP. The clean Swiss bank. Cleanliness is not high on my list of banking requirements, so I am turning my personal economy around and embracing my Piggyness.

Please deposit your cash and comments @ sandraseeley.com. Kanela is very "interest"-ed.

P.S.
To my brother, Patrick: The dime I stole from you when I was 6 and you were 9 is still in Mr. Pig!

Menehunes

Are you a believer?

Menehunes are the Hawaiian equivalent of leprechauns. Both are diminutive creatures that exist for those who believe in them.

The most famous and tallest menehune was Time Magazines' 2001 Person of the Year. See if you can guess his name from the following description: he is a playful elf, pot-bellied, hairy (but not on his head), muscular, and sports bushy eyebrows over large eyes. He stands Democratically, Independently, or Republicanly (depending on the decade) about two feet tall. Due to his short stature, it was not necessary for him to kneel when QE II bestowed honorary knighthood on him in 2002. He hosted SNL in 1997 and made two cameo appearances. He enjoys cliff diving.
A. Mickey Rooney
B. Daniel Rooney
C. Sir Rudy Giuliani-Rooney
Hint: The answer is always C.

Menehunes allow only a privileged few to see them. A menehune must give you a special juice which will allow you to see him or her. I have seen menehunes on numerous occasions. What juice did they give me?
A. Orange Juice
B. Redbull Energy Juice
C. Blue Hawaii "Juice"
Hint: See above hint.

Wolfgang can sense the presence of menehunes at the door, although he is not juiced up enough to see them. Who is Wolfgang?
A. September 5, 2009 host of SNL
B. Your worst nightmare
C. Assistant to a star
Hint: No more hints!

And finally, the beast of the Pittsburgh Steelers, and my personal favorite player, carries a six inch live menehune as a good luck charm. This very strong Samoan safety ( or very Samoan strong, strong safety) has many off-field interests such as growing flowers, making furniture, playing the piano, and flying on seagulls with a mini-menehune in order to patrol for sharks. Where does Troy Polamalu keep "mini-hune" on game day?
A. In the Game Day Magazine
B. In Coach Tomlin's cap
C. In one of the SIX large round diamonds of his Super Bowl XLIII ring

I "pau" now. Aloha Oe.

Email any comments, tropical gifts, menehune sightings, menehune pranks, or menehune good deeds to Queen Liliuokalani-Kanela at sandraseeley.com or visit me at Iolani Palace, Hawaii.