Tuesday, February 27, 2007

yahoo.gone

Where's My Stuff?

So one day, after a 4 month layover at gmail.com, I decided to visit my old e-mail friends at yahoo.com. Imagine my shock and dismay to find all my contacts and messages had gone missing and my account was closed with nary (nary's a funny word) a warning shot, warning shout, or warning shimmy of this hostile takeover. No ransom demands! My stuff has been kidnapped and I want it back. I have an uneasy feeling that it's either somewhere over the rainbow or in Yahoo's Data Center in Antarctica. And why was it taken in the first place? Did Yahoo run out of storage space? Was Yahoo practicing Feng Shui? Was my clutter too much for them?

I've written to all my Amish friends who have promised to shun Yahoo for me. Also, the post office does not confiscate all my stuff if it's been 4 months between letters!

I've also contacted the leader of the next Penguin March at Antarctica.com. The Emperor has promised to mount a search and rescue operation for my stuff. He's assured me it will give his marching band something productive to do between life and death.

My menehune friends are rainbow hopping at a blazing 15 megabits per second, riding that big fiber optic wave in the sky in search of my cyber contacts. Hang ten guys! The little people have e-mailed me with some very creative uses for fiber optics and Yahoos! All I can say about that is, "Ouch!" Believe me, when menehunes are bad, they are very bad! You don't want to mess with a menehune. The little guys have promised to find my stuff or magically recreate it.

I'm busy at home making "Yahoo Stuff: Wanted Alive" posters for the Penguin Marchers. If you're free next week-end, please join us. You must have a valid passport and battery operated socks!

These campaigns are becoming relentless. I'm still marching against Roman Meal Bread, although I noticed their Honey Oat Bread is impossible to find around here. People must have tired of discovering junk in their bread. Now, I'm off to another continent to find my stuff. Next, I'm giving Pix Place People, online Verizon Wireless photo storage, their first notice of an imminent campaign.

It appears that my Pix Place Account with Verizon Wireless was cancelled due to inactivity on my part for 180 days. At least they gave me 6 months and 3 text message notices before going to vzwpix.com and wiping me out. The problem is when I take pictures with my camera phone or receive them, I don't know where they go. I don't remember creating a picture account in the first place and was too busy campaigning to stop in for a visit.

But if you see any of my photos with my Yahoo stuff, just remember that Antarctica makes me look 10 pounds heavier!

If you can think of any printable consequences for Yahoo involving fiber optic cable, move those marching, happy feet to your computer and e-mail this outraged future screenwriter at sandraseeley.com.

2 comments:

  1. Dear Kanela,

    We regret to inform you that, due to recent inactivity, all memory of what you've written in your blog posts of the past are lost from my head. It is regrettable that there is finite memory available to store this data, however if you could simply make a new entry within every 14.2 days, it will refresh the synaptic connections and no data will be lost.

    We look forward to servicing your readership needs further.

    Sincerely,

    Favorite son in the Eastern Time Zone

    ReplyDelete
  2. Dear Kanela,

    I can understand your frustration. Yahoo tries to keep you on their website at all possible costs, then when you don't visit them they throw away your email account, without warning. I know it says it in the fine print, but they have tons of fine print on their website.

    I can't tell you how many email addresses I have had at Yahoo. Every time I want to go submit a website to them, they make me use a Yahoo email address to submit the website to their search engine. It has gotten so bad for me that it takes forever to come up with a new email name that their system accepts. The strange thing is, some random numbers don't even seem to work when registering an email name with them. Go figure.

    Anyways, that is my two cents worth of Yahoo news.

    Keep on with the marching.

    Ben Franklin

    ReplyDelete

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