When was the last time you heard the word "boycott"? I believe it's time to use it again against a company that chose to ignore my ultimatum for justice.
Schwebel Baking Company's insurance people asked me what I wanted for Mother Rose's unfortunate discovery in her Honey & Oat Bran bread.
I said, "$25,000."
They said, "Laughter."
I said, "You asked me what I wanted, not what I thought I would receive."
They said, "Louder laughter."
I said, "I will settle for $2,000. If I don't hear from you by March 24th, I will break my tentative vow of silence."
I believe they scoffed. (Scoffed is a funny word.)
Well all of you people out there in Readerland, I'm hoping you will join me on a Consumer Crusade. Let's show SBC (Schwebel Baking Company) that the keyboard is mightier than the Bread Company. This is for all the times you wanted compensation, but were refused and unable to do anything about it. Call or write Roman Meal, SBC, or Gallagher Bassett Services, Inc. Tell them you are not going to buy another loaf of their bread, etc. until they start removing pieces of de-panner equipment from their loaves or until Mother Rose gets compensated. (Price has now gone up to $4,000. Delay is costly. Price will continue to double willy-nilly (funny word).
In addition, you can display the disgusting pictures of their product in the bread aisle of your local supermarket. If we do this nationwide, we may get some results.
Meanwhile, if you would like to start contributing to the Mother Rose Fund, feel free to fax your tax deductible donations to:
Keep in mind that bills work best in a fax machine. We accept Euros also.
You can also e-mail your money to firstname.lastname@example.org and I will make sure it goes directly to Mother Rose.
This part is for real. Call:
Roman Meal at 1-800-922-0017
Gallagher Bassett Services, Inc. at 1-800-437-1266
From this end of the monitor, I will continue the Consumer Crusade until we get compensated for the masses or until I can no longer number my articles in Roman Numerals. Go Consumers!